Newsletter Archive
Put Me In, Coach: Dealing With Workplace Change - April 30, 2007
Earlier today I found out I died. As you can imagine, this came as something of a shock.
A warning notice on the card to my safe deposit box declared I was deceased, and only an executor could open the box. The bank associate said I’d need a copy of my death certificate to gain access. Since thus far the bank was the only entity that decided I had expired, I couldn’t produce such a document.
I try to be tolerant, but I’m sorry, this was just a tad bit insulting. Sure, today was a bad hair day. Still, I don’t think I looked that bad.
I suggested to this associate that my reported demise was a tad premature. Fortunately, she was able to confirm my place among the living after a co-worker consulted her computer. Turns out I’m alive after all.
Don’t you just hate it when people think you’re dead? It ranks right up there with having people think you’re pregnant when you’re not and having someone decide you’re the grandmother when you’re really the mother. You guessed it. I’m now three for three.
When someone close to us really dies, a grieving process sets in. The process we go through has some similarities to that which happens when we experience major change.
Executives I coach describe real grief when another firm buys the company. Or when a beloved supervisor moves on. Or even when they have to move to new office space or give up a cherished work assignment.
We move through stages as we grieve any significant loss. There is denial. That usually comes first. Then there is betrayal, depression, and eventually acceptance. The latter doesn’t mean we necessarily like the change. It just means we have decided we will accept and make the best of it.
This movement through the stages isn’t always linear. We can bounce around these stages. Some of us sail through or skip various stages. Some of us get stuck in denial, betrayal or depression.
Our reaction and subsequent recovery depends on how significant we think the change is, on other changes or stressors we may be experiencing, and on our overall health and sense of well-being. In most cases, the bigger we perceive the change to be, the greater the stress. The more changes we’re confronting simultaneously, the more stress. The more compromised our health or sense of well-being, the more stress we’ll experience.
How can we help ourselves as we navigate change and move through these stages? First, we can recognize that going through these stages is normal. Sometimes we simply need time to adjust.
Second, we can be patient with ourselves and with others who are struggling. Major change involves a process that doesn’t bow to an immediate cure. We can’t just banish the stages with a snap of the fingers.
Third, we can gather as much information as possible. Lack of information fuels stress.
It also helps to identify that which we can control and that which lies beyond our control. If someone just bought the company, I can stew about it all I want to. My indignation and outrage won’t change that basic fact.
If, on the other hand, I proactively seek a positive way to fit into the new culture, I can change my outcome. I’ll recover more quickly if I stay focused on the things I can control.
Maybe you’re in the midst of one or more major changes. This can be tough. It could be worse, though. At least you can still get into your safe deposit box.